I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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