does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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