he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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