I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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