I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
