Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
