You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
