even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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