i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
