We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
