Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Damn victory sex feels great
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
