Say something about gay babies.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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