Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
