end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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