Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
