our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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