Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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