Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
