apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
false alarm, still single
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
