Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
