I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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