A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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