All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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