i wish my penis had a tongue
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
