omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
