TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
