And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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