the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
