He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
