I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
