So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
