can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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