Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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