i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
