Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
