Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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