please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
