That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
