i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
