am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
