I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
did you just send me my own nude
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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