Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
