i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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