We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
