I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
