we made out on top of his cat.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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