I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I understand Curling. That high.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
