yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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