Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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