I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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