Can Purell be used as lube?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
