woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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