Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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