i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
