Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize