Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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