I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I showed him my bush... on skype.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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