The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
