wrigley field is MILF paradise
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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