so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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