Just mADE A PArabola og urine
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
