brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
