There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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