she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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