I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
