I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
