Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
