Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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