remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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