Dual....:-)
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
